For some reason I do not think the 2 hour time difference has kicked in... I am awake until 1 or 2 am but then again I would stay up that late in Colorado so maybe not. Anyway, being awake that late does not help when you have to catch the 720am train for an interview. I just was not tired so I did not turn off the tv and I did not put the book down. Maybe I will buy some chamomile or sleepy time tea and try that.

I am not one to bring up the weather usually but *oh my goodness* it is so flippin hot here plus the humidity. Ugh. I was not sure what to expect when I stepped outside this morning. What a welcome it was! Nice cool breeze along with cool air. It felt a bit like a Colorado morning. So that is a good incentive to get up early and go outside for a walk or just grab some coffee and sit outside. Plus there is barely anyone out then. I have walked around a little and I found this little place. It is a square of sorts with all bricks in the ground. In the center of it is a street map of Trenton with historical markers. It was neat, I will go back maybe in the morning and get a picture. Besides being swarmed by bees (note to self: get a new epipen or you will die) it was a nice experience. I will definitely go back.

Trenton has nothing on Greeley park wise (Greeley does have a large number of city parks) but I live next to a park and the Marriot Courtyard is down the road and that is really pretty and when the libray is open so is their little garden area. Plenty of places to enjoy the early morning.

Apparently Dunkin Donuts is the Starbucks around here. Which is ok because their actual coffee is pretty darn good (& they have like 6 flavors!) and their specialty drinks taste like Starbucks so another bonus. Most Dunkin Donuts do not have sitting areas though so that is the one downside. There is also this neat coffee shop called 'Cafe Ole' Cute huh? Yay for local businesses. Oh and across the street is this cute bookshop called 'Classics'. Good work people.

I will admit that there are certain parts of Greeley that I miss. Sadly enough it seems Greeley is more commuter friendly. The streets are definitely more busy here and there are no bike lanes. I also miss Christ Community and my Greeley folks, and the library system. I requested SIX books through the interlibrary loan system and who knows how long that will take, I may just go to Classics.

Serious Stuff:
With the madness that is no job and no money - came anxiety attacks. It was bleary for a week. I began to doubt my moving here with out a lot of money. I really should have waited until the end of August. Financially that would have been much better. Emotionally , I do not know if I would have made it . I was tired of pushing the move date back. Moving back to Colorado (which has been suggested) or moving to Maine (also been suggested) would have just been steps backwards and I really am trying to move forward.

Today I had 2 interviews and tomorrow I have 1. Fin-Freakin-Aly! My 1st interview was a train, a bus, and a short walk away in New Brunswick. It is an administrative position. The interview went pretty well. The 2nd interview is at the Marriot. I would either be a maid or guest relations. My interview tomorrow is at a youth center type place and I would be a life skills coach.

What I am praying for is to ge the Marriot and the youth center job. That way I can work mornings or overnight at the Marriot and then 1pm-9pm at the youth center. Also that would give me the chance to work my way up in the hotel industry and that might be cool. Having both jobs would allow be to save and pay off debt and prepare for a future with John. Both of these places are a 5 minute walk away- PERFECT! I really need this so please be praying.

The youth center job I really want. When I walked to find where it was located, I nearly laid my hands on it. 'To Know Your Name' was playing on my Ipod. I honestly was a bit teary. Partly because I am broke. Partly because I know I could do that job well. Partly because I have been literally praying every step I take that I get these jobs. And right now praying amidst my sin is hard for me. But I need this!

Currently I am acquaintances with GOD (seems to be that way a good part of my life). Leaving Greeley was the right thing to do , stage in my life wise. It was going to happen if I was in a relationship or not, maybe not such a big move but I was going to move. I cannot seem to break the habit of feeling that when I am sinning I cannot be close to GOD. (When people sin do they always know that they are sinning?)

I was talking to a friend about boy relationships. I do not have that much experience but going to a private Christian college along with all the youth stuff I did has me knowledeable. I was telling her not to date with the hopes that she can bring him closer to GOD because either he will bring her down or he will not grow closer to GOD. No matter what in the end it would end up with her being hurt. It was the first time that she had heard of 'missionary dating' . So she looked it up on the world wide web and found a few sites , apparently one is very much for this kind of dating and calls it 'dating to save' Ugh. Broken hearts everywhere people! After our conversation she told me that it was good to hear what I had to say and that I knew matters of the heart. That was neat to hear. She is 7 or 8 years younger than me and it is cool to be able to minister to her in that way. She had also made a comment yesterday that she did not want to date anyone who was not 'on fire for GOD'. That stuck out so much to me. John is not of fire for GOD. Right now I am not either. I cannot say that I am closer to GOD than John because I am not the ultimate Judge on that. I can just keep praying that he and I do grow closer to GOD and closer to each other.

Some of my friend may be reading this thinking not so positive thoughts but thats their perogitive, maybe not that fair for them to do that. Especially since I have always been open about my relationship. I just ask that they be happy for me. Yes right now it is tough but know that when I am with John I am happy. Also realize that in a Christian relationship things are so not always peachy and dandy and wonderful. That is such a load of crap. 2, 5, 10, 20 years in a marriage will have its downers. So give it a rest.

I sent Chris' girlfriend a few emails. She moved to Texas for their relationship - she is young, 20 or 21. So I guess I wanted to encourage her in the sense that I am 30 and going through similar things she is. Also because I am protective of Chris and just want him to be happy and not get hurt. Eesh.

I am going to get something to eat now and then do some baking for my housemate. He likes my zuccini bread. Yay.

Ciao.

If you cannot tell by my tattoo I had an AMAZING weekend with John. Super great. I am very thankful that there is such a thing as the internet and that I was able to connect with him and that I did not ditch out on our first date early. We have had our moments but at the end of the day we love each other and know that we can make it through anything. We have already dealt with so much already: 75 minutes away, 1 car, lay offs, sickness, 1800 miles. We are so much stronger because of it.

The other day I was sitting in my bed-less room and I was pretty much doing the whole 'woe is me' thing. I have some stuff that I need to fix but I was thinking 'there is no way I can be with John for this - why is he even with me?' And I was seriously thinking about breaking up with him. It was pretty intense. I am so glad that I did not follow through with that.

I am working on some gifts for friends. So far they are looking good. I am excited to finish them. I need to get knitting too.

The job search is kind of getting me down. I keep saying to myself " I WILL GET A JOB THIS WEEK". After a mini heart to heart with Dan last night I went to bed thinking that & when I woke up this morning I was not feeling it. Thank goodness for my lack of interest in the internet and tv this morning and for getting my tooshie out of the house.

Here is what happened:
I found the library! The building on the left is the old library & the building on the right is the newer one. Let me just say that it is small. Which I understand. It needs some more TLC, so I am now a volunteer. I am happy about that.

Woo Hoo!

Pretty Garden.

Pretty Garden.

Pretty Garden.

Little Ampetheater next to house. It has a little creek too. Good place to read & get some sun.

Feeling much better after going out.

Officially a Library Card Holder.

So John and I watched InkHeart this weekend & it is barely like the book (which is more common lately) We decided that when they (whoever they are) make movies based on books they should say that the movie is 'Inspired By' and not 'Based On' Because it is getting ridiculous. So that movie sparked a good conversation about which movies based on books are pretty accurate. John mentioned Lord of the Rings. I have yet to watch or read this series so guess what I am embarking on? I am pretty excited about this. I just have never been in the mind set/mood for it & it is time! I am feeling it. Wooooo!

Dan's cat hanging out in my room.

John's dad grows some big zucchini eh? This will be my dinner =)



I have not that connected to GOD lately. I know HE is there. I just do not know what to do with HIM. This is not the same deal as last summer when I was purposely disobeying HIM. Even during that time I knew HE was there and I was talking to HIM just not walking with HIM. I look at some of my Christian books and I look at my Bible and I sigh and wonder what is going on. And in the moments where I am depressed and frustrated I think, 'Oh just ask GOD about it Jenn , Talk to HIM about it' But I feel so disconnected and unsure. I almost feel like I need to see where HE fits in now. The Christian answer is that HE fits in everywhere and I agree with that. I believe that. I am just not feeling it. I made a HUGE change and my life is just up in the air (not in a bad way) I feel like I am at the same stage in life as I was after college.

Last night I told Dan that I do not feel 3o. Not in the physical way but in the life way. Nearly all of my friends have careers , families, homes, cars... and I have none of those things. For awhile I had some of it. After that while I wanted none of it. And just sitting here thinking about that... TOTALLY put a smile on my face because before I really had no reason to want it or fulfill that. However, now, I am here on the east coast. 30 years old. Madly in love. This is where I will be laying my roots. It is time friends and it will not be easy but it will be done. That is my goal. I cannot wait!

Now, off to make some zucchini!

I found State Street! Where the weekly Farmers Market is. I was quite excited about this.

My first home cooked meal. Baked spaghetti and Garlic Bread.

Syncing the Rockies schedule in my planner.

Dan's crazy cat.

Things I must do daily.

My art journal to document my leaving Greeley and my arrival on the East Coast.

Currently Reading.